Hey friends!
This is random but I COMPLETELY forgot to update everyone when the IndyCC site went live! I know you were all waiting on the edge of your seat to see the site, so my apologies ;)
Anyways, go to IndyCC.org to see the new website, logo, theme, etc. Everything is brand new from this summer, and we're all very happy with how it turned out. To see a few of the marketing materials, go under Resources --> marketing. Unfortunately most of the print materials aren't on there, but I'll link them on here soon.
Have a good one!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Imperfections.
I've said my whole life that I like imperfections.
Exactly twenty minutes ago, I realized this was a lie.
I don't like imperfections, I tolerate imperfections because I feel like I can't do any better. A graphic designer is trained to have a critical eye, to notice and critique every small detail. At first noticing these small things was a struggle and was unnatural to me, but now it's second nature. See a cool print ad? Analyze the font and color choices. See a cool website? Analyze how it was coded. My own design? Nitpick until my eyes grow blurry.
It's gotten pretty miserable, and it's taken 95% of the joy out of art and the reason I like it so much.
The worst part is that I've started to give this kind of of critique to myself.
I must be a failure because my professor didn't like this design. I must be worthless because I don't have my own logo yet or website or do freelance or ________. I clearly am a poser art major because everything I do doesn't come out on the first try. That pot? Lumpy. I fail. I must be too fat or short to be liked by him. I must just be not good enough for reasons a, b, and z. Blah blah blah. Those thoughts will drive you crazy.
And they have. But also they have to stop.
The Lord declares, " 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.' "(2 Corinthians 12:9).
He says that "He will cover [me] with his feathers, and under His wings [I] will find refuge; His faithfulness will be [my] shield and rampart." (Psalm 91:4).
And He says that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14).
"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." (Romans 8:6).
I know these truths, but do I believe them? Hardly. Am I living in the freedom and the love that He gives? Nope. Am I surrendering myself to let the Spirit live through me? Absolutely not. Am I living with a mind governed by the flesh? Unfortunately, yes.
Suffice to say I've been convicted of quite a few things the past week. I'm always so scared of the future and being seen as egotistic (weird, but true) and of not living up to others expectations that I set my expectations for myself higher than I could ever reach. I expect myself to be perfect, but also expect myself to fail. And so the cycle continues. These negative thoughts have been swirling around inside of me like acid, causing my self will to disintegrate along with my joy.
I need prayer, and lots of it. This semester has been an emotional and stressful roller coaster, but it doesn't have to be that way. I was talking to one of my friends from project a couple days ago, and he reminded me that God is always going to reveal Himself in huge crazy ways. Sometimes I just have to have faith that He's there, and trust in the still small voice instead of relying on the dramatic moments. That was a huge revelation, one I'm s till trying to process.
There have been good things too, please don't take this post as a total self-depricating thing. If anything, it's a step and a commitment to move away from that kind of thought. Our character is refined in the valley, after all. He is our strength, and He is faithful to the end, stable while I waver and toss like the sea. And He doesn't want my deeds or my art or my works so much as He wants me. That's mind blowing in itself!
Exactly twenty minutes ago, I realized this was a lie.
I don't like imperfections, I tolerate imperfections because I feel like I can't do any better. A graphic designer is trained to have a critical eye, to notice and critique every small detail. At first noticing these small things was a struggle and was unnatural to me, but now it's second nature. See a cool print ad? Analyze the font and color choices. See a cool website? Analyze how it was coded. My own design? Nitpick until my eyes grow blurry.
It's gotten pretty miserable, and it's taken 95% of the joy out of art and the reason I like it so much.
The worst part is that I've started to give this kind of of critique to myself.
I must be a failure because my professor didn't like this design. I must be worthless because I don't have my own logo yet or website or do freelance or ________. I clearly am a poser art major because everything I do doesn't come out on the first try. That pot? Lumpy. I fail. I must be too fat or short to be liked by him. I must just be not good enough for reasons a, b, and z. Blah blah blah. Those thoughts will drive you crazy.
And they have. But also they have to stop.
The Lord declares, " 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.' "(2 Corinthians 12:9).
He says that "He will cover [me] with his feathers, and under His wings [I] will find refuge; His faithfulness will be [my] shield and rampart." (Psalm 91:4).
And He says that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14).
"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." (Romans 8:6).
I know these truths, but do I believe them? Hardly. Am I living in the freedom and the love that He gives? Nope. Am I surrendering myself to let the Spirit live through me? Absolutely not. Am I living with a mind governed by the flesh? Unfortunately, yes.
My next assignment in my drawing class is a self portrait.Two of them, actually. I started on it yesterday with the worst attitude I think I've ever had. I approached it with a sour taste on my tongue and a bitterness in my heart, tearing myself apart as I attempted to draw my eyes and mouth and nose. I had nothing good to say about myself, nothing at all. And it was probably the worst, most depressing hour of my day. After class when I walked to my car I realized - I had just given God the worst critique I could have. I liked nothing. I hated on His craftsmanship, His perfect placement and thoughtfulness as He created me. I also hated on Him, because I'm made in His image. I had spent the last hour (and past years of my life, to be honest) hating on the God of the Universe.
Um, awkward.
I have a lot to learn, and I'm thankful that He is full of grace and patience and revealed those things to me in a soft whisper rather than a mountain-shattering yell.
Suffice to say I've been convicted of quite a few things the past week. I'm always so scared of the future and being seen as egotistic (weird, but true) and of not living up to others expectations that I set my expectations for myself higher than I could ever reach. I expect myself to be perfect, but also expect myself to fail. And so the cycle continues. These negative thoughts have been swirling around inside of me like acid, causing my self will to disintegrate along with my joy.
I need prayer, and lots of it. This semester has been an emotional and stressful roller coaster, but it doesn't have to be that way. I was talking to one of my friends from project a couple days ago, and he reminded me that God is always going to reveal Himself in huge crazy ways. Sometimes I just have to have faith that He's there, and trust in the still small voice instead of relying on the dramatic moments. That was a huge revelation, one I'm s till trying to process.
There have been good things too, please don't take this post as a total self-depricating thing. If anything, it's a step and a commitment to move away from that kind of thought. Our character is refined in the valley, after all. He is our strength, and He is faithful to the end, stable while I waver and toss like the sea. And He doesn't want my deeds or my art or my works so much as He wants me. That's mind blowing in itself!
He is so so good. I have a long ways to go, and a long road as I pursue holiness and my Creator, but I'm finding that it's okay to let go of control. It's okay to let Him do the carving and the planning and the painting. It's okay to leave myself unfinished for my Papa to do the finishing touches. Grace. That's another word I've forgotten.
He revealed my story to me a couple weeks ago, and I'm not entirely sure what to do with it but I'm excited to see where He takes me next. I may post it on here. We'll see.
Thank you for reading this slightly random blog post and being interested enough in my thoughts to do so. Everyone, have a lovely day, and let God love on you a bit (:
Meg.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Reflecting.
Hey friends.
Exactly a week ago, Chicago Summer Project ended and I flew home. It's so weird to say that officially. Weird, and definitely more bitter than sweet. This crazy whirlwind of a summer has drawn to a close, but God's plan isn't done yet.
Here is a little recap of the summer if you want more details:
The summer evenly divides itself into two five week segments. The first five weeks was spiritually about breaking me down and revealing the depth and roots of my sin, which, I'm not going to lie, was hard. But it was also about God revealing how He has redeemed me. In this way, I began to understand the gospel anew and apply it to my life with renewed passion. I began to see how life-giving and essential the Bible is, and how much I suffer when I am not spending daily time with Him. He gave me joy and showed my why we need to live for Him, and why we need to tell others about Him too. This helped me understand the importance of evangelism.
During the first half, I was also being challenged with relationships. As I began to see how fearful and anxious I am (main struggles), I began to notice patterns and how often I hold back in the context of friendships; how I like to stay on the surface and leave it at that. Noticing this allowed me to change, and open up to others and ultimately form some of the deepest relationships I've ever experienced. The people that He surrounded me with accepted me for who I am, and for that I am so grateful. But they also challenged me to grow, and spoke truth and encouragement into my life. Vulnerability and trust make all the difference. This summer I experienced community like never before, and I love each and every one of my CSP 13 family :)
My first half of the summer was spent doing ministry on the campus of UIC (the University of Illinois at Chicago), where students were interested to hear about Jesus and many accepted Him within weeks. After the staff left, I moved to the University of Chicago, where the environment was noticeably colder and more closed off. We did not see anyone come to Christ, but we have to trust that He has a divine purpose in mind and will be glorified regardless. This taught me to be bold and defend my faith even when others strongly disagree. It also taught me to boast in His abilities and strength and not my own, and persevere even when it's discouraging.
Boasting in Him also followed me with my Crossroads internship. When we began, I quickly noticed that I was not the strongest designer. This was mainly for lack of experience; I've only taken one official graphic design class at Appalachian. At first I was frustrated and felt useless. I questioned why I was there and if God could even use me. He broke down those lies and revealed truth: if I put my value in abilities, I will always fail. But if I put Him first, then I will always be loved unconditionally, and He will always give me everything I need. This was huge!
After the staff left, every student was given a leadership role. Mine was to be Crossroads Director. When my discipler dropped that bomb, I almost cried. I couldn't see that ending well at all, because I was feeling so inadequate. But the Lord is so so faithful, and He helped me to depend on Him, and how to find confidence, peace, and wisdom in His presence at every moment. Everyone came around me and supported me - it was such an incredible and humbling experience. As I grew more comfortable in my role, I began to see how everything I learned can be applied as I go back to Appalachian. I need to seek out community; to serve others; to trust God and step out in faith; to boast in His strength. I also began to learn how He has specifically made and gifted me for a purpose. I can't exactly see it yet, but I can't wait!
The last week was crazy - I was baptized on Wednesday, publicly declaring my faith and that I refuse to live like I had been. He has taught me so much, and I am committing anew to follow Him :) We had our final campus days, work days, and banquet that week. Thursday night was a sending off and everyone sharing what they had learned this summer. We stayed up all Thursday night and got up for the most beautiful sunrise I've ever seen on Friday morning! The last week was full of tears, but mostly rejoicing in what the Lord had done and what He had in store next.
There's so much more that I can't even put words to yet. But I'm leaving project exhausted in the best way possible, and filled to the brim with the joy and passion that our Savior brings. Thank you so much for your support and prayers!! This wouldn't be possible without you!
Prayers for coming home would be much appreciated. I need rest, but I'm moving into school tomorrow. The transition back to "normal life" has been hard, because most of my friends are in the Midwest. Pray for the upcoming year and all of us as we transition; pray that we can apply our passion and what we've learned at our campuses. Pray that we continue to grow, and that this won't be a high. And pray that we will be open and willing no matter where the Lord calls us next!
If you supported me, expect a letter and (possibly) more updates on this blog. I haven't decided yet if I will still use it, but you never know :)
And finally, lots of pictures:
Last day on U of C:
Last night:
Sunrise on the last day:
Exactly a week ago, Chicago Summer Project ended and I flew home. It's so weird to say that officially. Weird, and definitely more bitter than sweet. This crazy whirlwind of a summer has drawn to a close, but God's plan isn't done yet.
Here is a little recap of the summer if you want more details:
The summer evenly divides itself into two five week segments. The first five weeks was spiritually about breaking me down and revealing the depth and roots of my sin, which, I'm not going to lie, was hard. But it was also about God revealing how He has redeemed me. In this way, I began to understand the gospel anew and apply it to my life with renewed passion. I began to see how life-giving and essential the Bible is, and how much I suffer when I am not spending daily time with Him. He gave me joy and showed my why we need to live for Him, and why we need to tell others about Him too. This helped me understand the importance of evangelism.
During the first half, I was also being challenged with relationships. As I began to see how fearful and anxious I am (main struggles), I began to notice patterns and how often I hold back in the context of friendships; how I like to stay on the surface and leave it at that. Noticing this allowed me to change, and open up to others and ultimately form some of the deepest relationships I've ever experienced. The people that He surrounded me with accepted me for who I am, and for that I am so grateful. But they also challenged me to grow, and spoke truth and encouragement into my life. Vulnerability and trust make all the difference. This summer I experienced community like never before, and I love each and every one of my CSP 13 family :)
My first half of the summer was spent doing ministry on the campus of UIC (the University of Illinois at Chicago), where students were interested to hear about Jesus and many accepted Him within weeks. After the staff left, I moved to the University of Chicago, where the environment was noticeably colder and more closed off. We did not see anyone come to Christ, but we have to trust that He has a divine purpose in mind and will be glorified regardless. This taught me to be bold and defend my faith even when others strongly disagree. It also taught me to boast in His abilities and strength and not my own, and persevere even when it's discouraging.
Boasting in Him also followed me with my Crossroads internship. When we began, I quickly noticed that I was not the strongest designer. This was mainly for lack of experience; I've only taken one official graphic design class at Appalachian. At first I was frustrated and felt useless. I questioned why I was there and if God could even use me. He broke down those lies and revealed truth: if I put my value in abilities, I will always fail. But if I put Him first, then I will always be loved unconditionally, and He will always give me everything I need. This was huge!
After the staff left, every student was given a leadership role. Mine was to be Crossroads Director. When my discipler dropped that bomb, I almost cried. I couldn't see that ending well at all, because I was feeling so inadequate. But the Lord is so so faithful, and He helped me to depend on Him, and how to find confidence, peace, and wisdom in His presence at every moment. Everyone came around me and supported me - it was such an incredible and humbling experience. As I grew more comfortable in my role, I began to see how everything I learned can be applied as I go back to Appalachian. I need to seek out community; to serve others; to trust God and step out in faith; to boast in His strength. I also began to learn how He has specifically made and gifted me for a purpose. I can't exactly see it yet, but I can't wait!
The last week was crazy - I was baptized on Wednesday, publicly declaring my faith and that I refuse to live like I had been. He has taught me so much, and I am committing anew to follow Him :) We had our final campus days, work days, and banquet that week. Thursday night was a sending off and everyone sharing what they had learned this summer. We stayed up all Thursday night and got up for the most beautiful sunrise I've ever seen on Friday morning! The last week was full of tears, but mostly rejoicing in what the Lord had done and what He had in store next.
There's so much more that I can't even put words to yet. But I'm leaving project exhausted in the best way possible, and filled to the brim with the joy and passion that our Savior brings. Thank you so much for your support and prayers!! This wouldn't be possible without you!
Prayers for coming home would be much appreciated. I need rest, but I'm moving into school tomorrow. The transition back to "normal life" has been hard, because most of my friends are in the Midwest. Pray for the upcoming year and all of us as we transition; pray that we can apply our passion and what we've learned at our campuses. Pray that we continue to grow, and that this won't be a high. And pray that we will be open and willing no matter where the Lord calls us next!
If you supported me, expect a letter and (possibly) more updates on this blog. I haven't decided yet if I will still use it, but you never know :)
And finally, lots of pictures:
Last day on U of C:
Skydeck!:
Kayaking on the river:
Baptisms:
Banquet:
Last day adventures:
Surprises from the Crossroads men:
Graffiti room in the apartments:
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Jars of Clay
I know, I know. The cliche post that just so happens to be the title of my blog. But bear with me, it will make more sense in a bit.
A big passion of mine is the arts, or more specifically, the people that make up the art community. I relate well with creative types, and it breaks my heart to see the depth of despair and depravity that fills so many of the artists that I meet. I see what He has done in my life, and I want to share that with others - pure and simple. I just so happen to be placed in this community, and I want to take full advantage of it. I'm finding, though, that my passion needs to be Jesus first.
I've been reading through Ephesians with our project study and Acts on my own, and last Wednesday I was doing a devotion at the planetarium, overlooking the skyline and sunset. I was marveling at the skyline and how much I love this city, and was suddenly convicted deeply. I care more about the buildings and things created by man than the people here - or even my Creator. Just as I was having that thought, I noticed the beautiful sunset and the light streaming through the buildings. I came across the verse Acts 7:48:
Navy Pier Ferris Wheel!:
Fun city shot:
Lincoln Park Zoo:
A big passion of mine is the arts, or more specifically, the people that make up the art community. I relate well with creative types, and it breaks my heart to see the depth of despair and depravity that fills so many of the artists that I meet. I see what He has done in my life, and I want to share that with others - pure and simple. I just so happen to be placed in this community, and I want to take full advantage of it. I'm finding, though, that my passion needs to be Jesus first.
I've been reading through Ephesians with our project study and Acts on my own, and last Wednesday I was doing a devotion at the planetarium, overlooking the skyline and sunset. I was marveling at the skyline and how much I love this city, and was suddenly convicted deeply. I care more about the buildings and things created by man than the people here - or even my Creator. Just as I was having that thought, I noticed the beautiful sunset and the light streaming through the buildings. I came across the verse Acts 7:48:
"The Most High does not live in houses made by human hands."
This verse seems random, but to me in the context of feeling like my worth is in my art, or the buildings I'm seeing, or anything other than God - it was a huge epiphany. God lives in us, in believers. I am a jar of clay, nothing until given His life. These buildings and man made created things? Nothing. He isn't in those. He loves them and enjoys our creations, but He dwells in us, not the things we make. So cool. And He is with us every step of the way, forming us, like clay on a potter's wheel. (get it? get it?)
Needless to say, this combined with the weekly theme of empowered (this week's is united, also good), made me feel even more complete in the truth of the Father. He is strengthening us, calling us to a life beyond our own, to a divine purpose, to live in His freedom and joy, to expect immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. This summer has been one of simple and rejuvenating truths like these, and I treasure each one of them.
Reading through the Bible more has also helped me understand the stories and context better, and to get more truths out of them. We have a week and a half left in this great city, and I want to take advantage of every moment! God has given each one of us a story to share. I've learned so much from the stories of others, and I hope to continue to do so. Every testimony is so valuable.
Tomorrow is my last day on U of C, so prayers would be greatly appreciated as we finish out our campus ministry and hand the ministry off to believers on those campuses and future summer projects. Although I didn't see anyone come to Christ, many of my friends here did, and I'm so so happy to rejoice in that!
The internship has improved dramatically, as the Lord has graciously provided us with focus and strength to finish strong. We have our look, and are focusing on promotional materials now. Everyone is in their element, and we're seeing things come together quickly! I'll post pictures when things are finalized. It's been really neat to look back and see what we've made, but more importantly how each of us has grown.
Thank you for your prayers and support! I can't tell you how much it means to me, and how formative this summer has been. A few of us have gotten sick, so pray for healing and strength to finish through. God bless!
Beauty:
Fun city shot:
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