Hey friends!
This is random but I COMPLETELY forgot to update everyone when the IndyCC site went live! I know you were all waiting on the edge of your seat to see the site, so my apologies ;)
Anyways, go to IndyCC.org to see the new website, logo, theme, etc. Everything is brand new from this summer, and we're all very happy with how it turned out. To see a few of the marketing materials, go under Resources --> marketing. Unfortunately most of the print materials aren't on there, but I'll link them on here soon.
Have a good one!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Imperfections.
I've said my whole life that I like imperfections.
Exactly twenty minutes ago, I realized this was a lie.
I don't like imperfections, I tolerate imperfections because I feel like I can't do any better. A graphic designer is trained to have a critical eye, to notice and critique every small detail. At first noticing these small things was a struggle and was unnatural to me, but now it's second nature. See a cool print ad? Analyze the font and color choices. See a cool website? Analyze how it was coded. My own design? Nitpick until my eyes grow blurry.
It's gotten pretty miserable, and it's taken 95% of the joy out of art and the reason I like it so much.
The worst part is that I've started to give this kind of of critique to myself.
I must be a failure because my professor didn't like this design. I must be worthless because I don't have my own logo yet or website or do freelance or ________. I clearly am a poser art major because everything I do doesn't come out on the first try. That pot? Lumpy. I fail. I must be too fat or short to be liked by him. I must just be not good enough for reasons a, b, and z. Blah blah blah. Those thoughts will drive you crazy.
And they have. But also they have to stop.
The Lord declares, " 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.' "(2 Corinthians 12:9).
He says that "He will cover [me] with his feathers, and under His wings [I] will find refuge; His faithfulness will be [my] shield and rampart." (Psalm 91:4).
And He says that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14).
"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." (Romans 8:6).
I know these truths, but do I believe them? Hardly. Am I living in the freedom and the love that He gives? Nope. Am I surrendering myself to let the Spirit live through me? Absolutely not. Am I living with a mind governed by the flesh? Unfortunately, yes.
Suffice to say I've been convicted of quite a few things the past week. I'm always so scared of the future and being seen as egotistic (weird, but true) and of not living up to others expectations that I set my expectations for myself higher than I could ever reach. I expect myself to be perfect, but also expect myself to fail. And so the cycle continues. These negative thoughts have been swirling around inside of me like acid, causing my self will to disintegrate along with my joy.
I need prayer, and lots of it. This semester has been an emotional and stressful roller coaster, but it doesn't have to be that way. I was talking to one of my friends from project a couple days ago, and he reminded me that God is always going to reveal Himself in huge crazy ways. Sometimes I just have to have faith that He's there, and trust in the still small voice instead of relying on the dramatic moments. That was a huge revelation, one I'm s till trying to process.
There have been good things too, please don't take this post as a total self-depricating thing. If anything, it's a step and a commitment to move away from that kind of thought. Our character is refined in the valley, after all. He is our strength, and He is faithful to the end, stable while I waver and toss like the sea. And He doesn't want my deeds or my art or my works so much as He wants me. That's mind blowing in itself!
Exactly twenty minutes ago, I realized this was a lie.
I don't like imperfections, I tolerate imperfections because I feel like I can't do any better. A graphic designer is trained to have a critical eye, to notice and critique every small detail. At first noticing these small things was a struggle and was unnatural to me, but now it's second nature. See a cool print ad? Analyze the font and color choices. See a cool website? Analyze how it was coded. My own design? Nitpick until my eyes grow blurry.
It's gotten pretty miserable, and it's taken 95% of the joy out of art and the reason I like it so much.
The worst part is that I've started to give this kind of of critique to myself.
I must be a failure because my professor didn't like this design. I must be worthless because I don't have my own logo yet or website or do freelance or ________. I clearly am a poser art major because everything I do doesn't come out on the first try. That pot? Lumpy. I fail. I must be too fat or short to be liked by him. I must just be not good enough for reasons a, b, and z. Blah blah blah. Those thoughts will drive you crazy.
And they have. But also they have to stop.
The Lord declares, " 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.' "(2 Corinthians 12:9).
He says that "He will cover [me] with his feathers, and under His wings [I] will find refuge; His faithfulness will be [my] shield and rampart." (Psalm 91:4).
And He says that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14).
"The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." (Romans 8:6).
I know these truths, but do I believe them? Hardly. Am I living in the freedom and the love that He gives? Nope. Am I surrendering myself to let the Spirit live through me? Absolutely not. Am I living with a mind governed by the flesh? Unfortunately, yes.
My next assignment in my drawing class is a self portrait.Two of them, actually. I started on it yesterday with the worst attitude I think I've ever had. I approached it with a sour taste on my tongue and a bitterness in my heart, tearing myself apart as I attempted to draw my eyes and mouth and nose. I had nothing good to say about myself, nothing at all. And it was probably the worst, most depressing hour of my day. After class when I walked to my car I realized - I had just given God the worst critique I could have. I liked nothing. I hated on His craftsmanship, His perfect placement and thoughtfulness as He created me. I also hated on Him, because I'm made in His image. I had spent the last hour (and past years of my life, to be honest) hating on the God of the Universe.
Um, awkward.
I have a lot to learn, and I'm thankful that He is full of grace and patience and revealed those things to me in a soft whisper rather than a mountain-shattering yell.
Suffice to say I've been convicted of quite a few things the past week. I'm always so scared of the future and being seen as egotistic (weird, but true) and of not living up to others expectations that I set my expectations for myself higher than I could ever reach. I expect myself to be perfect, but also expect myself to fail. And so the cycle continues. These negative thoughts have been swirling around inside of me like acid, causing my self will to disintegrate along with my joy.
I need prayer, and lots of it. This semester has been an emotional and stressful roller coaster, but it doesn't have to be that way. I was talking to one of my friends from project a couple days ago, and he reminded me that God is always going to reveal Himself in huge crazy ways. Sometimes I just have to have faith that He's there, and trust in the still small voice instead of relying on the dramatic moments. That was a huge revelation, one I'm s till trying to process.
There have been good things too, please don't take this post as a total self-depricating thing. If anything, it's a step and a commitment to move away from that kind of thought. Our character is refined in the valley, after all. He is our strength, and He is faithful to the end, stable while I waver and toss like the sea. And He doesn't want my deeds or my art or my works so much as He wants me. That's mind blowing in itself!
He is so so good. I have a long ways to go, and a long road as I pursue holiness and my Creator, but I'm finding that it's okay to let go of control. It's okay to let Him do the carving and the planning and the painting. It's okay to leave myself unfinished for my Papa to do the finishing touches. Grace. That's another word I've forgotten.
He revealed my story to me a couple weeks ago, and I'm not entirely sure what to do with it but I'm excited to see where He takes me next. I may post it on here. We'll see.
Thank you for reading this slightly random blog post and being interested enough in my thoughts to do so. Everyone, have a lovely day, and let God love on you a bit (:
Meg.
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