As per usual, God teaches me in the most unexpected ways. As a team we are going through Colossians with the theme of "Magnificent ______", as in week 1 was "Magnificent Gospel", week 2 was "Magnificent Faith", and this week is "Magnificent Identity". Every Monday we meet as a team for training, worship, and teaching.
It amazes me that no matter how hard I try, God's will is always supreme. I am so much more comfortable being behind the scenes and letting someone else lead - but that doesn't seem to be the plan the Lord has for me. Much like Moses and Joshua, God is calling me to do something I am not comfortable with. I keep ending up in positions of leadership, all eyes turned on me for direction. And that terrifies me.
For example: I signed up for Cru leadership last year with the expectation that all I was good for was weekly meeting team, where I would be running powerpoint slides and greeting people at the door. Low skill level, low commitment. Instead, I was asked to lead a freshman small group. What a blessing and challenge this year was because of it! It was hard and definitely out of my comfort zone, but God used those girls in my life more than I could have ever expected, and I hope they can say the same of me. Next year I am taking over the ASU Cru website and designs, as well as doing publicity for our campus chapter of IJM (International Justice Mission). I have a feeling those things are only just beginning.
Here, I was first selected for the Crossroads Internship - which blew my mind because I've only taken one class in my major! I work on campus as a designer too, but even with that experience I still felt inadequate. Then Josh asked me to be an emcee for our weekly meeting. I said sure, thinking that would be the end. And THEN, he told me that I was headed up the design group for an international conference called Bridges - what?! SO much unwanted responsibility fell on my shoulders.
But you know what? It doesn't. The Lord of the Universe has it all under control, and He is obviously preparing me for something... I just don't know what yet. Every uncomfortable meeting, gospel presentation, etc. is part of His divine plan, even though I don't know what yet.
And today on campus I met with my discipler Whitney, and she encouraged me so much with what she has seen God doing in me in the few short weeks that I've known her. And something I'm realizing is how to put God the center - not art, not other people, not me - God. He doesn't need my works or good deeds. He just wants me, and He loves me no matter what. My holes and failures and need for affirmation is filled in Him. So much encouragement!
My identity is found in His love and what He did on the cross. I may need to be reminded of that every five minutes, but it's still such sweet truth!
But I'm definitely tired and have a LOT to process through this week, so prayers would very much be appreciated! For my team too, because I'm not the only one feeling this way. Thank you and God bless!
My sweet Crossroads family!:
Bean fun:
Being short:
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