Jars of Clay

I know, I know. The cliche post that just so happens to be the title of my blog. But bear with me, it will make more sense in a bit.

A big passion of mine is the arts, or more specifically, the people that make up the art community. I relate well with creative types, and it breaks my heart to see the depth of despair and depravity that fills so many of the artists that I meet. I see what He has done in my life, and I want to share that with others - pure and simple. I just so happen to be placed in this community, and I want to take full advantage of it. I'm finding, though, that my passion needs to be Jesus first.

I've been reading through Ephesians with our project study and Acts on my own, and last Wednesday I was doing a devotion at the planetarium, overlooking the skyline and sunset. I was marveling at the skyline and how much I love this city, and was suddenly convicted deeply. I care more about the buildings and things created by man than the people here - or even my Creator. Just as I was having that thought, I noticed the beautiful sunset and the light streaming through the buildings. I came across the verse Acts 7:48:

"The Most High does not live in houses made by human hands."

This verse seems random, but to me in the context of feeling like my worth is in my art, or the buildings I'm seeing, or anything other than God - it was a huge epiphany. God lives in us, in believers. I am a jar of clay, nothing until given His life. These buildings and man made created things? Nothing. He isn't in those. He loves them and enjoys our creations, but He dwells in us, not the things we make. So cool. And He is with us every step of the way, forming us, like clay on a potter's wheel. (get it? get it?)

Needless to say, this combined with the weekly theme of empowered (this week's is united, also good), made me feel even more complete in the truth of the Father. He is strengthening us, calling us to a life beyond our own, to a divine purpose, to live in His freedom and joy, to expect immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. This summer has been one of simple and rejuvenating truths like these, and I treasure each one of them. 

Reading through the Bible more has also helped me understand the stories and context better, and to get more truths out of them. We have a week and a half left in this great city, and I want to take advantage of every moment! God has given each one of us a story to share. I've learned so much from the stories of others, and I hope to continue to do so. Every testimony is so valuable. 

Tomorrow is my last day on U of C, so prayers would be greatly appreciated as we finish out our campus ministry and hand the ministry off to believers on those campuses and future summer projects. Although I didn't see anyone come to Christ, many of my friends here did, and I'm so so happy to rejoice in that! 

The internship has improved dramatically, as the Lord has graciously provided us with focus and strength to finish strong. We have our look, and are focusing on promotional materials now. Everyone is in their element, and we're seeing things come together quickly! I'll post pictures when things are finalized. It's been really neat to look back and see what we've made, but more importantly how each of us has grown.

Thank you for your prayers and support! I can't tell you how much it means to me, and how formative this summer has been. A few of us have gotten sick, so pray for healing and strength to finish through. God bless!

Beauty:

 Navy Pier Ferris Wheel!:

 Fun city shot:

 Lincoln Park Zoo:

Boasting in His Strength

and not my own. 

This has been a theme for the past two weeks. I apologize for my lack of posting... it's been crazier than ever, and honestly I've been too worn out to even think about writing. In the midst of my exhaustion, the Lord has really been teaching me what it looks like to persevere, lead, and depend completely on Him. This has been a harder lesson than I would like to admit, which is also part of the reason I haven't posted. 

This week's theme was "In Him I am: Awakened", which was at first cruelly ironic. Week 7 of project = the epitome of exhaustion and a bit of burnout from all of us. Ready for rest, gearing up for the fall. But in the midst of that, God is calling us to push on and make the most of the next three weeks. Three weeks is still a long time - a lot can be accomplished, if we let Him. 

These last two weeks were really about surrendering myself, so that He can work through me and receive all the glory. As an artist, that is really really hard to do, because we are all about getting the recognition for our hard work. Selfish, I know. Another feeling I've been battling is just how deep my shortcomings and weaknesses are. It has gone beyond the point of humility to the point of self deprecation - literally boasting in my weakness. I went to the other extreme of pride and told everyone who would listen how little I can do, which isn't what God wants us to do either. He wants us to let Him work through us, and be humble but confident in Him. I'm learning this first hand.


Campus evangelism has been difficult, and I personally haven't seen anyone come to Christ. I recently switched my focus campus to the University of Chicago, which as definitely been a transition... But many of my team members here have, and that's so awesome! God is moving, even if I'm not seeing it in that area. At the very least, it is preparation to go back to my own campus. 

Work, like I said, feels slow. But we ended the week with some solid designs, and with a renewed perspective on why we're here in the first place. Keep on praying, friends. It's much appreciated! And a quick update: Garrett got home a few days ago from his trip to Chicago, where he did repair work and evangelism in one of the poorer areas. So awesome to hear what God taught him and is doing in this city! I can't wait to see him and talk to him (and the rest of my fam and everyone at home) in person :)


All that to say these past two weeks have been frustrating ones. Work is in the revision and refining process, and we haven't been able to put any designs or color schemes in stone until Friday. This has definitely caused stress and anxiety on my side, which isn't what God wants us to do either. Anyone else sensing a theme here? Living in flesh is a no go. 

But our Papa is a gracious, patient, and loving God. He is always there, even when I can't feel Him. And He always comforts and provides answers. Ephesians says "For He himself is our peace," (2:14), and we are saved by grace, not works. When we believe, we do not believe because of earthly gain or comfort; on the contrary, we know it will be hard because we believe. But He will be faithful until the end, and give us life, "But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions," (2:4), so that we may know Him and choose to follow Him. Incredible. 

These truths have been encouraging to me, and I hope they have for you too :) I just have to remember that He has a plan all along. The object is for us to become less, and Him to become more. On our off time (which isn't much), I love exploring the city. It's giving me such a heart for this place - and meeting new people on the side of the street is one of my favorites! Everyone has a story to tell. 

Church this morning was about heeding God's specific direction vs. general direction. The gist was that sometimes (like in Acts chapter 8), God gives us specific people to talk to, places to go, or things to do. But other times, we have to trust Him and follow the general direction of the Bible. This was such a relevant message, and it really encouraged me to walk in faith and proclaim His name where ever I go. It's not where you walk, it's HOW you walk. So cool! 

Another SUPER encouraging (and super fun) time was exactly a week ago - a few of my friends and I went to go see the Oh Hellos, a folk-style band who bases all their songs off scripture, but does it in a subtle way as to minister to non-Christians. They've been one of my favorite bands for awhile, but last Sunday we got to not only meet them, but hang out with them for a few hours after the concert! We prayed for each other and ate cake and ice cream in honor of my friend Amanda's birthday. It was an incredibly encouraging time to get to know them a bit and see how the Lord is working in and through them.

So basically, these past two weeks have been full of ups and downs, frustrations and lessons learned. But I don't regret it, and I can't wait to see what else is in store!

Thirsty.

I am so thirsty for the Living God. 

More thirsty every day. As I am diving headfirst into the Word and discovering the life He has for me, I'm realizing how empty I am. I have nothing to offer, really. Nothing to give except myself. And He fills me like an empty jar until I am overflowing onto others. 

That's the goal, anyway. I fall short... a lot. Luckily, there is grace. But it's still not fun. His Word is so so life giving. I'm working my way through Paul's letters, and the way he presents truth is so simple, yet so incredible. I am constantly blown away by a single sentence or phrase, realizing that it was meant for me to see. Like today:

"We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts." -1 Thessalonians 2:4

Um, what? I've spent more time than I would like to admit trying to please people. Some of that is a caring servant heart, but some of that is definitely looking for affection and approval in others. Do they like my designs? Do they think I'm funny? Does it really matter? 

No. Not as much as I would like to think. I'm discovering how much I need the Word every day, which is super humbling. This morning I went to work and tried to lead without much prayer or thought at all... yikes. Not my best day. Learning, though. Learning. Learning to be a prayer warrior, how to serve, how to surrender and allow God to teach me, to give me a new heart. And I'm learning that the journey to a new heart isn't a quick one, nor does the heart of stone give up easily. There are layers of stone, hurt, and scars that God has to gently remove before I can be pure. But during the whole process He promises to be right there, and He is :) 

This is our first official week leading the project. Everyone is nervous, but everyone is so encouraging too! It's such a beautiful thing to see. I can't wait to see how God uses this next five weeks in our lives, the city, and when we leave to scatter around the world. We've had students accept Christ on our campuses, and we are hoping for many more. God is so faithful. I'm changing my campus focus to U of Chicago, which is a very different atmosphere than what I'm used to, for sure. Very academic and science focused, so be praying about that one. 

At Crossroads we are still working on IndyCC and the Bridges International Conference, among many other things. I'll post pictures when more things are finalized :) pray for me to lead like Jesus. With grace, humility, confidence, and joy. 

Our theme for the next five weeks is "In Him I am". This week is "Chosen", based off the book of Ephesians. I can't think of anything more perfect to study as we grow in Christ. In Him I am complete, confident, whole, joyful, overflowing. So good. 

My wonderful small group:

Pizza!: 

 4th of July:

 Exploring:

 The group:

 City shots never get old: