This has been a theme for the past two weeks. I apologize for my lack of posting... it's been crazier than ever, and honestly I've been too worn out to even think about writing. In the midst of my exhaustion, the Lord has really been teaching me what it looks like to persevere, lead, and depend completely on Him. This has been a harder lesson than I would like to admit, which is also part of the reason I haven't posted.
This week's theme was "In Him I am: Awakened", which was at first cruelly ironic. Week 7 of project = the epitome of exhaustion and a bit of burnout from all of us. Ready for rest, gearing up for the fall. But in the midst of that, God is calling us to push on and make the most of the next three weeks. Three weeks is still a long time - a lot can be accomplished, if we let Him.
These last two weeks were really about surrendering myself, so that He can work through me and receive all the glory. As an artist, that is really really hard to do, because we are all about getting the recognition for our hard work. Selfish, I know. Another feeling I've been battling is just how deep my shortcomings and weaknesses are. It has gone beyond the point of humility to the point of self deprecation - literally boasting in my weakness. I went to the other extreme of pride and told everyone who would listen how little I can do, which isn't what God wants us to do either. He wants us to let Him work through us, and be humble but confident in Him. I'm learning this first hand.
Campus evangelism has been difficult, and I personally haven't seen anyone come to Christ. I recently switched my focus campus to the University of Chicago, which as definitely been a transition... But many of my team members here have, and that's so awesome! God is moving, even if I'm not seeing it in that area. At the very least, it is preparation to go back to my own campus.
Work, like I said, feels slow. But we ended the week with some solid designs, and with a renewed perspective on why we're here in the first place. Keep on praying, friends. It's much appreciated! And a quick update: Garrett got home a few days ago from his trip to Chicago, where he did repair work and evangelism in one of the poorer areas. So awesome to hear what God taught him and is doing in this city! I can't wait to see him and talk to him (and the rest of my fam and everyone at home) in person :)
All that to say these past two weeks have been frustrating ones. Work is in the revision and refining process, and we haven't been able to put any designs or color schemes in stone until Friday. This has definitely caused stress and anxiety on my side, which isn't what God wants us to do either. Anyone else sensing a theme here? Living in flesh is a no go.
But our Papa is a gracious, patient, and loving God. He is always there, even when I can't feel Him. And He always comforts and provides answers. Ephesians says "For He himself is our peace," (2:14), and we are saved by grace, not works. When we believe, we do not believe because of earthly gain or comfort; on the contrary, we know it will be hard because we believe. But He will be faithful until the end, and give us life, "But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions," (2:4), so that we may know Him and choose to follow Him. Incredible.
These truths have been encouraging to me, and I hope they have for you too :) I just have to remember that He has a plan all along. The object is for us to become less, and Him to become more. On our off time (which isn't much), I love exploring the city. It's giving me such a heart for this place - and meeting new people on the side of the street is one of my favorites! Everyone has a story to tell.
Church this morning was about heeding God's specific direction vs. general direction. The gist was that sometimes (like in Acts chapter 8), God gives us specific people to talk to, places to go, or things to do. But other times, we have to trust Him and follow the general direction of the Bible. This was such a relevant message, and it really encouraged me to walk in faith and proclaim His name where ever I go. It's not where you walk, it's HOW you walk. So cool!
Another SUPER encouraging (and super fun) time was exactly a week ago - a few of my friends and I went to go see the Oh Hellos, a folk-style band who bases all their songs off scripture, but does it in a subtle way as to minister to non-Christians. They've been one of my favorite bands for awhile, but last Sunday we got to not only meet them, but hang out with them for a few hours after the concert! We prayed for each other and ate cake and ice cream in honor of my friend Amanda's birthday. It was an incredibly encouraging time to get to know them a bit and see how the Lord is working in and through them.
So basically, these past two weeks have been full of ups and downs, frustrations and lessons learned. But I don't regret it, and I can't wait to see what else is in store!
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